I am sitting in the Tub that my 12 year old daughter ran for me. As I lay here, bubbles and jets going, I close my eyes and I think about all the things I'll be able to do if I survive surgery!!!! Obviously ... I am going to!
I can not wait to have a date night with my husband . TO go to a place that doesn't need to have soup on the menu. ( ONE of my triggers is chewing, so I don't eat solids very often) I KNOW , I know.... I don't look like I've lost weight. That's BECAUSE my meds make me gain weight. It all evens out. IT DOES!!!! ) MOVING ON.... I can not wait to make love to my husband and he WON'T be afraid to hurt me( He will be able to throw me around !!!!) I'll be able to be the parent I need to be to all my kids. ( They are going to be upset) Instead of my girls being proud of me for making it through a dentist appointment. They will be proud of me for being a marathon runner! Well.... not a marathon , maybe a 10k . Let's start with a mile. You get my point!!!! I want my girls to know I too can be strong.
I can't wait till I can teach again and when I do, I won't look like a fool because I lose my words, mess up my sentences and forget everything I know!
I'll be able to take classes, book as many clients as I want and become an amazing photographer.
The possibilities are endless....
But the road to recovering seems endless as well. In order for me to get to the place of endless possibilities I need to take this Long, painful and daunting road ahead! When I think about the surgery and recovery my mind goes blank. It's almost like I can't go there YET???
For right NOW I need to quiet my thoughts, slow down and take one day at a time.
I'll enjoy the rest of my bath! Get out and have a Walking dead marathon with Dakota! That's all I can do right now! The rest of this battle will have to wait for another day!!!
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