It's 7 days before I start tapering off of Lyrica.
Lyrica is marketed as an alternative to opioid medications. Like opioid drugs, however, you can overdose on Lyrica, and it can be fatal without swift medical intervention
Suddenly stopping Lyrica or drastically decreasing the dose can lead to uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms.1 In some cases, these withdrawal symptoms can become life-threatening and require medical care. It’s best to detox from Lyrica under the supervision of a doctor or another healthcare professional.
I stand in front of Kevin in the kitchen and let him know I'll be staying on it permanently. He laughs, knowing full well I can't. With Tears falling down my face, I try and explain that I'm not ready. Looking in Kevin's eyes, I see he believes in me. He has seen me get through so much already , he thinks this will be no different. It is different though. Last time, I had no idea the Hell I was going to have to go through, this time around I do. And quite frankly, I'd rather not do it!
I know I have to... ( Written to be read, in a mad voice. If you didn't read it that way, go back!)
I really do want to get rid of all these Wonderful Side effects! Dizziness, Drowsiness, Loss of balance or coordination, Constipation, Edema, Breast swelling ( Ill keep this one!) Tremors, Blurred vision, weight gain, problems with memory and concentration, difficulty swallowing, fast heart beat, joint and muscle pain, bloating or swelling of the face, arms, hands and feet. ( Definitely have this one!) Blistering, peeling or loosening of the skin, hives , and itchy skin. ( who the hell cares if I get itchy skin, can we go back to Blistering, peeling,and loosening of the skin???? What the Hell!!!)
So, it's clear I don't want those things... But....
What I don't want, is to not be crawling out of my skin 24/7. I'd also prefer not to stay up for days on end and I definitely do not want to be throwing up and dry heaving. I can handle the shakes, the chills , the night sweats and the constant fidgeting and even the constant cravings.
What I cant handle is having my kids watch me go through it.
No matter how hard you try , you cant control the madness.
Drug addiction IS a brain disease. If you have never been on a drug that you had to detox from , Please don't even try to argue this point with me.
If I could WILL myself not to feel like my inside were dying and my mind go crazy don't you think I would.
It's not about being strong.
Listen, I've had back surgery while pregnant with Bailey. I have had all three children vaginally and one of those children was 10 pounds, 1 oz . I have had two breast surgeries , a knee surgery, two Brain Surgeries and HAVE been struck by lighting. So... I know Strong .
This is something different all together.
No matter how hard you try , you cant control the madness.
Basically detox is ... YOU holding on for dear life while the drugs slowly find their way out of your body kicking and screaming. You know the best thing about drugs?!?!? It never completely leaves you. It always leaves a little piece behind.
One of the reason addicts stay addicts is because the thought of going through detox is enough to keep them trapped in their addictions.
It’s hard to say no to the thing you know will make you feel better when you are in that amount of pain.
Its hard to be a mom and a wife when you are in that amount of pain. Its hard to Live when you are in that amount of pain.
I pray God gives me Grace. I pray my words and actions are kind to myself and to others. I pray God gives my family the patience and understanding they are going to need.
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