Covid

Over TWO YEARS..... I did not get covid once. Not in the two years it's been out and about making everyone sick.

Not for two years. 10 days before my surgery I test positive for Covid.

I just stared at my phone seeing the test results for both Dakota and I.

Coronavirus detected

I wish I could say that I took a deep breath , gave Dakota a hug and said everything was going to be okay. I didn't say that, although I wished I had.

I don't have it in me to be brave and strong anymore. I had only 10 more days of having to be brave and strong. Only 10 days. Anyone can do anything for 10 days!!!!!!

Now.... who knows how long I will have to wait.

I kept it together (mostly) till Dakota went to bed.

I sat on the edge of my bed while Kevin talked to me. I couldn't hear him, I was lost inside myself. I found a safe quiet place in my head and that's where I wanted to stay.

Crazy people, they are not crazy. They are just broken. Life just threw too much at them. They need love, compassion and HOPE.

I stayed in my quiet place, till I felt the soft pull of Kevin leading me into the bathroom. The warm water of the bath and Kevin's voice softly leading me out of a quiet but very dark place.

I often wonder how much Trigiminal Neuralgia has taken from me. Each and everyday I feel a piece of me fall away. I can't be the wife , mother, daughter or friend I want to and NEED to be. I feel it all falling away.

As much as I feel Kevin pulling me out of the darkness. I feel the pull of the darkness and I long for that quiet.